Failure is the stepping stone to successFailure to anyone is extremely painful. When we take up a task we all want to complete it successfully and emerge as a winner. Nobody wants to be a failure in this world. But, everyone of us would have experienced the pain of failure in someway or other. Be it a loss in the family or losing a competition, it is simply unbearable. Though we all have different ways of reacting to failures, we all feel the same inside. So, what are the reasons behind failures? Is there a way to avoid any in future? And, how do we really cope with failure in life?

Reasons to ‘feel’ failed:

  • Expectation

The first and foremost reason to feel that you have failed in something is the expectation to win. I know this is a very philosophical route, but this is the sole reason. If you don’t compete then there is no failure. But it is not always possible to sit back and relax in life. When we all get into a task, we are packed with the desire and the will to succeed and when failure occurs, we just cannot take it.

  • Incapability and Pressure

The other reason to fail is incapability. When we underestimate a task or over estimate ourselves for the task, then failure becomes quite inevitable.Pressure plays a vital role in defining failure and many of us break and under perform when pressure mounts. Peer pressure is another contributor. Just because your peer did something doesn’t mean you should do it.

  • Destiny

In other times, we are forced to take up an activity because of necessity and though we know we cannot succeed, we just had to do it and we fail. This, i call fate, is a definition for failures that are out of our control and nothing much can be done about it.

Alright,how to deal with it?

  • Expectations – again!

Back to expectations. This is the key aspect of how we perceive failure. No expectations mean no interest and no dedication in a task which is an extreme and too much expectation means not able to handle failure at all.We need to find a balance point for these expectations. Doing your duty and leaving the rest to destiny is a good attitude to have towards handling failure. In that way, you always feel you have done your best and the result is out of your hands.

  • Preparing for the worst!

A better way to deal with failure is to actually plan for the worst. If you have already thought about the worst that can potentially happen, then it is becomes very easy to handle real failure, if and when it happens. There is still a possibility of something unexpected happens, but that is relatively remote. Having a back-up plan if something goes wrong is also a good idea. That gives an opportunity to react as quickly as possible when failure occurs.

  • Learning from the past

The best possible way to handle failure is to take examples from the past. It does not need to be your past. Looking at how miserably others have failed but still managed to pull themselves together and achieve something great, definitely helps in handling failure. The truth is every man who has failed may not become successful, but every successful man would have had his share of failures. It is only the past that has shaped them to be successful today.

  • Don’t just remember. Extrapolate!

Taking examples from past is very good, but that’s just not enough. You need to be sharp enough to extrapolate the failures you have seen and try and fit them into other situations. It is not just failures that teaches us, but success does as well. It is our duty to be a good student of both success and failure and treat them with equal importance.

  • The Half glass full person

Finally, a half glass full attitude instead of a half glass empty attitude works quite well when it comes to dealing with failure. Think about what you have learnt and what you have got and not what you have lost and what you did not win. This attitude helps in making us more human.

Avoiding failure? Never!

Do we really need to avoid failure? Failure in most cases means that something is wrong and also points out that we do not have the right capability to succeed. Failing in a job interview could mean lack of knowledge or even lack of negotiation. Failure, although painful, needs to be taken in the right spirit. It is a beautiful stepping stone to success. All of us learn far more from failure than from success. So never try and avoid failure. Instead, learn to work with it. Failure is a true friend who can show the path to a better life.

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